Why has God left me alone?

I know that it is said that He is always with us. But I don't know what's happening. I was so close to God, it was the best year of my life with him. We were inseparablee. He was all I thought about and I absolutely loved it. I put him into every situation and He always helped me get through it no matter what. I could surrender every situation to Him. All of a sudden, not even gradually, I grew away from him. One day I thought about him 24/7 and the next I barely did. What happened? The devil is taking over parts of my life that I had given to God. I try to surrender again, but I feel so weak. I am so helpless and I feel I can't trust God anymore. This has been the hardest time of my life. I can't seem to get God back. It's been forever. I feel so empty without Him. I don't know how to handle myself anymore. I consider suicide constantly, but I could never do that to my God. I honestly have a hate for God right now. But yet when other people dis Him, I still stand up for Him and tell them how much He has done for us. I can't do this anymore. I've asked God continuously to guide me and get me back on track, but nothing has happened. It's been like 4 months. Help me :( I miss him. I've told him all of this, and nothings changed. I hurt. Everything in my life has fallen apart. Parents seem to hate me, I'm extremely greedy, I hate on everything, I'm jealous of everyone, I curse (and I didn't before), my parents are financiallystrugglingg and one lost their job. I can't even tell you what else has happened, but I can't do this anymore. Why has my God left me? And I know you will probably all answer with saying He is still with me. I know that poem "Footprints In The Sand" too. I just can't understand how I became such a strong, committed and absolutely loving Christian who applied God to EVERYTHING, and all of a sudden it was gone. I feel the devils presence in my life now. I just don't know how this happened.